CAST OF CHARACTERS

Dean Ambrose
Dean Ambrose

Dean Ambrose – played by Jonathan Good. Miscast as the “Lunatic Fringe,” since he appears to be educated, articulate, and normal. He normally wears a black leather jacket in the ring.  Upcoming match with Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania 32  (Photo by Frightwolf).

 

 

Curtis Axel
Curtis Axel
Axl Rose
Axl Rose

Curtis Axel – played by Joseph Curtis “Joe” Hennig, who is a third generation professional wrestler.  He was prevented from entering the 2015 Royal Rumble by Erick Rowan, and claimed he was not eliminated.  Currently part of the social outcasts (until his contract runs out)  (Curtis Axel Photo by Krystal Bogner, Axl Rose Photo by GunsN’Roses World Tour 2010)

Bad News Barrett
Bad News Barrett

 

Bad News Barrett – played by Stuart Alexander “Stu” Bennett.  Tall British Wrestler formerly known as “Wade” Barrett.  Mid-carder who used to compete for the Intercontinental Belt.  Currently part of the League of Nations  (Photo by Megan Elice Meadows)

 

 

Big Show
Big Show

Big Show – played by Paul Donald Wight. Just a few inches shorter than WWE Hall of Famer Andre the Giant. Even steps over the top rope, like Andre did. But Andre was only pinned once – by Hulk Hogan.  Big Show consistently loses. An inflexible, lumbering, oafish wrestler.  Currently, an Authority heel, and winner of the 2015 Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. (Photo by Ed Webster)

 

 

Daniel Bryan
Daniel Bryan

Daniel Bryan – played by Bryan Lloyd Danielson. Fan Favorite Face, despite no obvious gimmick, other than being an “average Joe,” and the, “Yes, Yes, Yes” chant.   Won the Intercontinental Belt at a Ladder Match at Wrestlemania XXXI, but surrendered it due to an injury,  as usual.  RETIRED (Photo by Megan Elice Meadows)

 

 

 

John Cena
John Cena
Fred Flintsone
Fred Flintsone

John Cena – played by John Felix Anthony Cena. Alleged wrapper.  Dead ringer for Fred Flintstone. Winds up limp, lying prostrate on his back during almost every match. A true Drama Queen. Fan favorite, though, and good with the mic.  Ultimate Baby Face.  Only man to ever pin Rusev.   Currently out due to injury (which means he is filming) (Fred Flintstone Photo by Mark Anderson)

 

Cesaro
Cesaro

Cesaro – played by Claudio Castagnoli. Tall Guy from Switzerland.  Pound for pound, the most boring wrestler in WWE right now. Needs a gimmick.   (Photo by Megan Elice Meadows)

 

 

 

Fan DAN Go
Fan DAN Go

Fandango – played by Curtis Jonathan Hussey.   He’s a convenient jobber for other wrestlers.  Mid-carder, at best.  Recently lost the tango shtick (Photo by Miguel Discart).

 

Triple H
Triple H

Triple H – played by Paul Michael Levesque. He and his wife, Stephanie McMahon, are “The Authority.”  They know “what’s best for business.” Triple H, is the COO for WWE,and is good with mic.  His wife, Stephanie, could benefit from acting lessons.

 

 

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Mark Henry

 

Mark Henry – played by Mark Gerold Henry.  Former Olympic Gold Medal Weightlifter billed by WWE as the “world’s strongest athlete.”  He’s often absent due to injuries.  Former WWE World Heavyweight Champion.  Once a heel.

Luke Harper
Luke Harper
Willie Robertson, Duck Dynasty
Willie Robertson, Duck Dynasty

Luke Harper – played by Jon Huber.   Doesn’t say much.  Part of the Fake Wyatt Family.  Looks like a drunken Civil War General, or someone who belongs on an episode of Moonshiners or Duck Dynasty.   (Photo of Luke Harper by  Megan Elice MeadowsPhoto of Willie Robertson by Geopungo; )

Chris Jericho
Chris Jericho

Chris Jericho – played by Christopher Keith Irvine.  Born on Long Island; was raised in Canada.  Former “Ayatalloh of Rock and Rollah.”  Finishing move is the Walls of Jericho.  Winner of numerous championships and appeared in Sharknado III.  Over the hill, and overweight, but still somewhat entertaining (Photo of Chris Jericho by Simon Q.)

Jericho
Jericho Airborne

 

Kane
Kane
Walking Cane
Candy Cane
Candy Cane

 

 

 

 

Kane – is from Spain, and played by Glenn Thomas Jacobs. He is the half brother of The Undertaker.  He is the Director of Operations for “The Authority.”  An aging, lumbering, oafish wrestler who lacks agility and flexibility.  Sometimes appears as Demon Kane.  Well suited for a desk job.  At this point in his career, Kane is no longer able. (Photo by Krystal Bogner)

Tyson Kidd
Tyson Kidd

Tyson Kidd – played by Theodore James “T.J.” Wilson.  He’s married to WWE Diva Wrestler Natalya.  Another plain vanilla guy. Needs shtick. Once teamed up with Cesaro to form the WWE’s most boring tag team.  (Photo by Anton Jackson)

 

 

Lesnar and Heyman
Lesnar and Heyman

Brock Lesnar – played by Brock Edward Lesnar. Dethroned the Undertaker at Wrestlemania. He is the only person to have won a WWE championship, UFC championship, and an NCAA wrestling championship.  Usually flanked by former photo-journalist (“Good evening, Ladies and Gentleman, My name is”) Paul Heyman, who is Lesnar’s corpulent “advocate.”  Lesnar and Heyman are entertaining (Photo by Megan Elise Meadows)

File:The Miz 2010.jpgThe Miz – played by Michael Gregory “Mike” Mizanin.  Went from MTV’s Real World to WWE Tough Enough (which he did not win) to wrestling circuits and then to WWE.  The Miz has won 13 championships in WWE (one WWE, four Intercontinental, two U.S., and six Tag Team).  But he’s all about HOLLYWOOD, and is portrayed as a brash, arrogant actor.  Is “AWESOME” according to his own introduction  (Photo by Reckless Dream Photography).

Damien Sandow – played by Aaron Steven Haddad.  Former Tag Team Partner / Stunt Double / Personal Assistant for The Miz.  No longer uses his former finishing move, the ill-conceived “Elbow of Disdain,” which was a low for the Creative Team (Photo by Miguel Discartes)

 

 

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/33/Neville_March_2015.jpgNeville – played by Benjamin Satterley.  A cape-wearing English wrestler and former NXT Champion.  He is billed as “the man that gravity forgot.”  Treats the fans to acrobatic excellence.  But it seems like the Creative Team forgot him (Photo by Miguel Discart).

 

 

Fight Owens Fight
Fight KO Fight

Kevin Owens – played by Canadian Kevin Steen.  After ten years in other circuits, he signed with NXT in 2014.  In 2015, he burst into the WWE by feuding with, and defeating, John Cena, for the US Heavyweight Title.  He claims his young son is a John Cena fan.   Resembles a bear  (Photo by Miguel Discart).

 

Randy Orton
Randy Orton

Randy Orton – played by Randall Keith Orton, a third-generation wrestler. Apparent bad boy, just returned to the ring after injuries.  We love the RKO “out of nowhere,” even though it looks like it hurts Orton more than his opponent.  Repeatedly recruited by The Authority to be a Heel. Constantly beset by injuries; not sure if he will return to the ring (Photo by Miguel Discart).

 

 

Roman Reigns
Roman Reigns

Roman Reigns – played by Leati Joseph “Joe” Anoa’i.  A Samoan who has too many vowels in his (real) surname. Fan favorite who enters through the audience, not the usual runway.  Real life cousins with the Usos and The Rock.  Won the 2015 Royal Rumble and faced Lesnar at Wrestlemania, where they both lost.  Current World Champion after beating Triple H at Wrestlemania XXXII.  His interview segments are painful (Photo by Miguel Discart).

 

Del Rio
Del Rio

Alberto Del Rio – played by José Alberto Rodríguez.  Mexican wrestler who has bounced around different professional wrestling affiliates.  Returned to WWE, with Coach Zeb Coulter in 2016 to take the US Championship from John Cena.  Then, he lost it to Kalisto.  Now part of the League of Nations.  Jobber (Photo by Megan Elice Meadows).

 

Seth Rollins
Seth Rollins

Seth Rollins – played by Colby Lopez. Authority heel. Claims he is the “Undisputed Future of the WWE,” which everyone else disputes.  In a vintage Wrestlemania moment, Rollins entered the ring during the Main Event at Wrestlemania XXXI, when Lesnar and Reigns were lying flat on their backs.  Rollins cashed in his Money in the Bank contract, pinned Reigns, and became the WWE World Heavyweight Champion, until he was later injured (Photo by Megan Elice Meadows).

 

Adam Rose
Adam Rose

Adam Rose – played by Raymond Leppan. South African wrestler formerly flanked by costumed crowd of party goers known as the Rosebuds. He even wrestled one of them – a bunny or, as the WWE announcer Michael Cole stated, “an athlete in a bunny suit,” just in case anyone thought it was a real six foot Bunny who stands upright.  Bring back the Bunny!  Currently part of the social outcasts (when not demoted to NXT) (Photo by Sayuncle).

 

Erick Rowan
Erick Rowan
Unidentified Amish Person
Unidentified Amish Person

Erick Rowan – played by Joseph Ruud.  Part of the Fake Wyatt Family.  Wears a goat mask for his entrance. Looks Amish.  Part of the Wyatt Family.  (Eric Rowan Photo by Miguel Discart; Amish Photo by Ivan McLellan)

 

Rusev and Lana
Rusev and Lana

Rusev – played by Miroslav Barnyashev. He was billed as the “Hero of the Russian Federation,” and entered to a picture of Vladimir Putin. Unsurprisingly, he is not Russian; he’s born and bred in Bulgaria, which is more than 3,300 miles from Russia.  (He was Bulgarian at NXT).  He then changed his WWE citizenship back to Bulgaria  (Photo by Miguel Discart).

 

 

File:Internet ChampionZack Ryder.jpg

Zack Ryder – played by Matthew Brett Cardona.  Known as the Long Island Loudmouth, he is used sparingly by the WWE.  Current status appears to be a jobber.  Won the Intercontinental Belt at Wrestlemania XXXII, and then lost it the night on Monday Night RAW.  A popular wrestler whom McMahon disdains, for reasons not known (Photo by Simon Q).

 

 

Ryback
Ryback or Shrek?

 

Shrek
Shrek or Ryback?

Ryback – played by Ryan Allen Reeves.  Also known as The Big Guy.  Muscled up wrestler who resembles Shrek.  Shtick includes a cool entrance and the  “Feed Me More” chant.  Gets the testosterone flowing.   Somehow lost the US Championship to Kalisto at Wrestlemania XXXII (Ryback Photo by Anton Jackson; Shrek Photo by Sanjeev Beekeeper)

 

Sheamus
Sheamus

Sheamus – played by Irish born Stephen Farrelly.  Earned the 2014 United States Champion, until he lost it to Rusev.  Then won it from, and lost it to, Roman Reigns.  Part of the League of Nations.  Enters to chants of  “You look stupid.”  Sadly, he sounds and wrestles stupid, also (Photo by Megan Elice Meadows).

 

 

 

Sin Cara
Sin Cara

Sin Cara – played by Jorge Arias.  Bilingual wrestler who wears a face mask with horns.  “Sin Cara” means “without a face.”  Another jobber.   Found good shtick with the Lucha Dragons (Photo by Miguel Discart).

 

 

 

 

Swagger & Colter

Jack Swagger – played by Donald Jacob “Jake” Hager.  Current shtick – Patriotic Face (good guy) managed by Zeb Coulter, a former heel, played by Wayne Maurice Keown.   (Photo by Miguel Discart)

 

Sting, Wrestler

Sting – played by Steve Borden.  Former WCW wrestler who appears occasionally on WWE, with lots of face paint.  He lost to Triple H at Wrestlemania XXXI. He is not a musician in The Police.   (Photo of Sting, Wrestler by  Mshake3; Photo of Sting, Musician by Yancho Sabev) RETIRED.

Sting, Musician
Sting, Musician

 

 

 

 

 

 

R-Truth
R-Truth

R Truth – played by Ronnie Aaron Killings. Rapper and Wrestler. Apparently, the WWE Creative Team doesn’t like his real surname – Killings. Too violent for WWE? (Photo by Jeremy P.I.T.(Account 2))

 

 

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The Undertaker

The Undertaker – played by Mark William Calaway.  The longest tenured cast member at WWE.  Former Champion.  Had a streak of 21 straight wins at Wrestlemania until Brock Lesnar pinned him at Wrestlemania XXX.  He returned  to defeat Bray Wyatt at Wrestlemania XXXI and Shane McMahon at Wrestlemania XXXII (Photo by Mshake3)

 

 

Bray Wyatt
Bray Wyatt

Bray Wyatt – played by Windham Lawrence Rotunda – a third generation professional wrestler.  Another wrestler who could be in an episode of Moonshiners. Known for his long “spiritual” pre-taped segments and spooky entrance music.  Patriarch of the Wyatt Family (Photo by Megan Elice Meadows).

 

Classic Ziggler
Classic Ziggler

Dolph Ziggler – played by Nick Nemeth. Consummate Drama Queen and Overactor. Must hold the record for Kickouts on a 2 count. “The Showoff” is always coming back from near destruction, in every match.  Baby face and fan favorite.  (Photo by Matt Brink).