KICKOFF EVENT – UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP – Kalisto v. Ryback. Since when is the second most prestigious belt – the US Championship – on the Kickoff Show? And since when is it held by someone who is 5 feet, six inches tall? We predict Ryback. But where are Cena, Rollins and RKO? The product is suffering.
The MAIN EVENT is McMahon announcing who will take control of RAW – Stephanie or Shane McMahon. We predict neither. How about Daniel Bryan?
WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP – We hope that the McMahon child can end his McMahon crush on Roman Reigns. End Roman’s Reign. AJ Styles seems too new and green to suddenly ascend to the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Sadly, we have to predict Reigns, but we are rooting for . . . anyone who wrestles Reigns.
WWE WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP – Charlotte v. Natalya. Charlotte doesn’t lose. She is Ric Flair’s daughter. Period.
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP – The Miz v. Cesaro. Cesaro is, pound for pound, the most boring wrestler in the WWE. He has no shtick. The swing is lame. And The Miz is a washed up has-been. Can the Intercontinental Belt fall any lower? If they can’t both lose, we predict Cesaro. Bring back Zack Ryder!
SAMI ZAYN v. KEVIN OWENS – This will probably be the best match of the night. These NXT guys can wrestle. We predict Zayn will prevail.
AMBROSE v. JERICHO – We predict Ambrose, who deserves a belt.
ZIGGLER v. CORBIN – Ziggler is a mid-carder. Corbin is up and coming. Another NXT talent. We predict Corbin.