It began in Pittsburgh with The Authority supplicating to Randy Orton for reuniting with The Authority. Orton paid them back by insulting each one of them, and then defusing the situation by stating he was kidding.
Daniel Bryan wrestled Bad News Barrett, with R-Truth providing commentary, holding a burlap bag. Bryan pinned BNB after JBL said that Barrett looked like England after Bangladesh got ahold of it – an apparent reference to a cricket match, which very few in the WWE Universe could appreciate. Dean Ambrose took Barrett out after the match. Then, Ambrose wrestled Stardust, who seethed with anger when the crowd changed his first name – Cody. Stardust brought out the stolen Intercontinental Belt.
Ambrose pinned Stardust after a Dirty Deeds. A melee ensued with Stardust, Ambrose, Harper, Ziggler, BNB, and Bryan. During the commotion, R-Truth snuck up and placed the Intercontinental Belt in his burlap bag. BNB demanded the burlap bag from R-Truth, but it turned out that BNB got a fake Intercontinental Belt, and R-Truth snuck off with the real one. Apparently, BNB couldn’t tell the difference in weight between a metal and gold belt and the WWE plastic replica.
Paul Heyman came out to introduce a video of Roman Reigns, who will face Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania. (Roman Reigns could use a spokesman, too, or at least some acting lessons). Lesnar entered the ring, as Heyman kept bloviating to fill time. (Why isn’t RAW 2 hours, like Smackdown?) Lesnar said nothing. He stood there with his Championship Belt, which no one attempted to steal. He said not a word.
Another smoky segment from Bray Wyatt, speaking to an urn.
Rowan and Ryback wrestled a Tag Team match against Big Show and Kane. JBL said, “You can’t win early; but you can lose early.” Does that apply to both wrestlers? Rowan pinned Kane after Big Show accidentally hit Kane. Kane and Big Show then argued in the ring and were lectured by Stephanie McMahon to leave “her” ring, in her angry maternal voice.
The Miz pitched a plan to combine his acting skills with Wiz Khalifa. But the Wiz already had a partner – “Wizdow,” who rapped about the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal.
Wiz Khalifa performed three “songs,” and was joined by Wizdow at the end.
AJ Lee pinned Summer Rae in a Divas match.
Cena yelled at Rusev backstage.
Rusev – Hero of the Russian Federation – entered the ring to wrestle Curtis Axel. WWE claims Rusev resides in Moscow, but he’s from Bulgaria, and probably has never been to Russia. Like everyone else, he beat Curtis Axel – quickly. Rusev then yelled at the audience. Out came John Cena , to chants of USA, USA, who then placed Rusev in various submission holds until Rusev appeared to be unconscious. He kept the last hold until Lana agreed to a Cena/Rusev title match at Wrestlemania.
Bray Wyatt had his second smoky segment.
In a Tag Team Match that no one wanted to see, The New Day beat Tyson Kidd and Cesaro. This was followed by Naomi pinning Natalya.
In a Tag Team upset, Los Matadores beat The Usos.
Bray Wyatt had a live spooky segment, in the ring, claiming that he is the new face of fear. Lightning struck his rocking chair, in the ring, and lit it on fire. Booker T. said that you don’t want to play with fire. The Undertaker will face Bray Wyatt at Wrestlemania.
In the Main Event, Orton and Rollins faced Roman Reigns. Orton refused to tag in, and Reigns pinned Rollins. Then, Orton gave Rollins a beating, ending in an RKO on the announcer’s table, thus ending RKO’s association with The Authority.
Our FEED ME MORE award goes to Rapper Wizdow. He’s got swag.
Our FEED ME MORON award goes to The Uos for losing to Los Matadores.