The show began with Rollins taunting Jon Stewart. Roman Reigns entered, and then he and Rollins taunted each other. Reigns punched Rollins and then Superman punched and speared J&J Security.
Randy Orton encouraged Rollins to ask The Authority for a match with Reigns.
Dean Ambrose brought his stolen Intercontinental belt out to wrestle Bad News Barrett for the Intercontinental Title which BNB won. But Ambrose stole the belt. R-Truth provided commentary.
R-Truth will be in a ladder match at Wrestlemania. R-Truth complained about the height of the ladders, and Michael Cole stated that R-Truth suffers from “arachophobia,” which is fear of heights. He meant to say acrophobia. Maybe Cole has hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia – a fear of long words.
R-Truth again stole the Intercontinental Belt, and gave it to Luke Harper. This distracted BNB, who was then pinned after a Dirty Deeds by Ambrose.
The Miz took over Mizdow’s commercial shoot and inadvertently wound up advocating for Niagara – a drug for ED – much the embarrassment of The Miz. Mizdow apologized to The Miz. This is the longest breakup in history. Eventually, the Creative Team will have The Miz and Mizdow face off.
Bray Wyatt had a spooky segment challenging The Undertaker to wrestle at Wrestlemania. He said that, “Fire has no prejudice; it has no feelings.” McMahon should discipline whoever wrote that line. Then, Wyatt lit an empty coffin on fire. We’re not sure how this relates to wrestling.
Tyson Kidd and Cesaro wrestled The USOs in a six person Tag Team match including Natalya and Naomi. While Tyson Kidd was talking to Natalya, Alicia Fox snuck up on her and pinned her.
John Cena announced that he was entering the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal at Wrestlemania. Stephanie McMahon entered the ring, stating that Andre the Giant would not be belittled by Cena, and she wouldn’t allow him to wrestle in that Battle Royal. Cena said that, “Any Wrestlemania moment is a moment to remember for a lifetime.” As if that line weren’t bad enough, Curtis Axel then appeared to wrestle Cena. Axel wants to wrestle Rusev at Wrestlemania.
Axel quickly submitted to Cena. Then, Rusev, the Bulgarian pretending to be a Russian, appeared, flanked by Lana. In his pretend Russian accent, he again declined to wrestle Cena at Wrestlemania.
Triple H entered the ring to trash talk Sting, and invited Booker T into the ring to talk about the Sting thing. Booker T. gave his opinion and then Triple H fired Booker T. Then, he rescinded the termination of Booker T. Triple H talked about what it’s like to “have control.” (It’s easy to have control when you write the script).
Nikki Bella wrestled Paige for the Diva’s Championship. Paige had Bella in a Paige Tap Out, but Brie Bella interfered. Paige won the match, but didn’t win the Championship because she did not pin or submit her opponent. While the Bella’s were attacking Paige, after the match, AJ Lee returned to the ring to defend Paige. We once again heard the most annoying theme music in WWE history as Paige entered to “Let’s Light It Up.”
Seth Rollins had a fake set of The Daily Show in the ring, with J&J Security. While he was trashing Jon Stewart, Jon Stewart showed up to trash talk Rollins. As Rollins and J&J Security were closing in on Stewart, Randy Orton came to the rescue, allowing Stewart to kick Rollins below the belt and escape.
Luke Harper entered the ring with the stole Intercontinental Belt to wrestle Daniel Bryan. Bryan won by submission with the Yes Lock. Then Bad News Barrett entered the ring to re-take his Intercontinental Belt. But Ambrose took it from BNB, then Harper took it from Ambrose, R-Truth took it from Harper, Harper took it back from R-Truth, then Ziggler took it from Harper.
Paul Heyman entered the ring to talk up Brock Lesnar and insult Roman Reigns.
In the Main Event, Rollins squared off against Roman Reigns. Outside the ring was J&J Security, Big Show, and Kane. Randy Orton came out later to join them, but didn’t stand with The Authority Heels. However, Orton held Reigns’ foot just before he was going to spear Rollins. This interference allowed Rollilns to pin Reigns. Reigns then attacked The Authority Heels and destroyed them.
Our FEED ME MORE award goes to Jon Stewart, for appearing on RAW and being Jon Stewart, a graduate of the College of William and Mary.
Our FEED ME MORON award goes to Rollins for trying to beat up on Jon Stewart, but getting kicked below the belt, instead.