RAW BRAWDCAST – March 23, 2015 (Los Angeles, CA)

RAW BRAWDCAST – March 23, 2015 (Los Angeles, CA)

Sting opened the show.   Stephanie McMahon stepped in the ring to taunt him, telling him that dogs are stupid and he is “nothing but a face painted freak.” Sting caught Stephanie McMahon’s hand as she was trying to slap him. Triple H approached with his trademark sledgehammer as Sting swung his trademark bat in the ring. The confrontation never happened, but suspense was built in anticipation of their match at Wrestlemania. Apparently, this is the Seniors’ Section because the combined ages of these two wrestlers is over 100. Will it be sponsored by Geritol?

Dean Ambrose and R-Truth wrestled Stardust and Luke Harper in a Tag Team match, to promote the Intercontinental Belt Ladder Match, as Bad News Barrett joined the WWE announcers. Stardust bristled at the chants of “Cody, Cody.” Booker T. referred to the match as a “car crash.” R-Truth pinned Stardust.

After a Roman Reigns montage, The Miz entered the ring in a 10 man match, and WWE showed a canned interview where The Miz and Mizdow were interviewing Kevin Hart and Will Ferrell about their upcoming movie. Once again, Mizdow stole the show.

The Miz and Mizdow, The Ascension and Adam Rose battled Zach Ryder, Erick Rowan, Ryback, and the Prime Time Players. Bill Simmons announced, and asked, “Where’s the Rabbit?” Simmons praised Jesse Ventura, and badmouthed JBL for setting wrestling back ten years. Ryback (Shrek) pinned The Miz for the victory.

There’s a two hour Kickoff Show to the four hour Wrestlemania. We congratulate anyone who can sit through 2 hours of Booker T’s childlike gibberish. This is precisely why the “Mute” button was invented.

The Apex Predator – Randy Orton – stepped in to wrestle Rollins and J&J Security. He took care of J&J with a Double DDT, and then pinned Jamie Noble after an RKO “out of nowhere.”

In a taped interview, John Cena (who resembles Fred Flintstone), stated how he seeks to bring the US Championship home to the United States, by winning it from Rusev – the Bulgarian pretending to be a Russian.

While Paige and Nikki Bella wrestled, JBL said that “there was a lot of water under the bridge” between the two wrestlers, indicating that they don’t like each other due to past events. But “water under the bridge” refers to past events of no consequence. Wrong metaphor, JBL. Don’t worry – Booker T. had no clue.

Bella pinned Paige on a three count, but the ref must have botched it because the match continued on. Bella then pinned Paige for real – as real as it can be in the WWE.

Speaking of Booker T., he was gushing over Snoop Dog, who didn’t rap. Curtis Axel came out lauding Axelmania, followed by Hulk Hogan. Hogan dropped Axel and then Snoop Dog threw Axel out of the ring. Yet another humiliation for Curtis Axel.

In another Interspecies Match, Tyson Kidd, Cesaro and Natalya lost to Los Matadores when El Torito pinned Natalya.

Rusev, unaccompanied by Lana (the American pretending to be a Russian) wrestled Jack Swagger. Rusev won with an Accolade, and then Cena came out to feud with Rusev. Rusev took apart the announcer’s table and then had Cena “unconscious” in an Accolade. More buildup to Wrestlemania.

Bray Wyatt entered the ring to yell at The Undertaker, who was not present. Seemed pointless.

In a segment with subpar acting, Tyson Kidd declared his love for Burger King while Natalya was present.

In the Main event, two faces squared off – Daniel Bryan v. Dolph Ziggler, the Showoff. Michael Cole made reference to Ziggler and Ambrose previously calling Bryan a “turd.” At least they didn’t use the word “meany.” That might have really upset Bryan. Ziggler pinned Bryan with a Superkick followed by a Zig Zag. After the match, the “referee” Dean Ambrose dropped Ziggler with a Dirty Deeds.

The Intercontinental contestants all entered the ring to attempt to climb a ladder to retrieve the Intercontinental Belt, which is harbinger of the Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Title to be held at Wrestlemania. The night ended with limp bodies strewn across the ring, and the Belt hanging high.

Paul Heyman introduced Brock Lesnar, and Roman Reigns came into the ring so that they two of them could stare awkwardly at each other and play Tug of War with the Championship belt.

Our FEED ME MORE Award goes to Snoop Dog for NOT rapping.

Our FEED ME MORON Award goes to Curtis Axel for getting thrown out of the ring by Snoop Dog.