The Fallout Show, after Wrestlemania, opened with (Good Evening Ladies and Gentleman, my name is) Paul Heyman advocating for the FORMER reigning, defending, undisputed WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Brock Lensar. He said that Lesnar almost respects Roman Reigns, but that Seth Rollins, the CURRENT reigning, defending . . . is “slimy.” Heyman threatened litigation, but stated that his client was against it because “all lawyers are scumbags.” A rematch of Rollins and Lesnar was set to be the Main Event.
When Stephanie McMahon appeared, the crowd chanted “Ronda Rousey,” who beat up McMahon at Wrestlemania. McMahon said that Rollins was on a plane and might not make it to RAW.
In the first match, Dolph Ziggler, with a fresh orange spray tan, wrestled Daniel Bryan. Bad News Barrett was on commentary for the Clash of the Faces for the Intercontinental Belt. Bryan won, retaining the Belt, by pinning Ziggler. When BNB entered the ring, Sheamus appeared (finally) and chased BNB out, thus protecting Ziggler and Bryan. But then Sheamus Brogue kicked both Bryan and Ziggler.
An 8 Man (mid carder) Tag Team match featured Tyson Kidd, Cesaro, The Ascension, New Day, and Lucha Dragons. As the crowd chanted “New Day sucks,” Lucha Dragons pinned The Ascension. We were impressed with the technique of Lucha Dragons. They can replace The Ascension.
The Main event was occurring early – Rollins v. Lesnar. But rather than risk his title, Rollins fled, like Brave Brave Sir Robin. The Beast Incarnate then “snapped,” overturned the announcer’s table, and F-5’d Michael Cole and a cameraman (twice). Stephanie McMahon suspended Lesnar indefinitely, thus removing the #1 threat to Rollins’ Championship reign.
In the next match, Damien Mizdow stepped out of The Miz’ shadow to wrestle Stardust. The crowed changed “Cody,” and Mizdow pinned Stardust after a skull crushing finale. When The Miz entered the ring to attach Mizdow, the crowd chanted, “A**hole.”
Adrian Neville showed off his acrobatics and quickly pinned everyone’s favorite loudmouth jobber – Curtis Axel.
Ambrose wrestled Cena for the US Championship, as the crowd chanted, “John Cena sucks.” Cena pinned Ambrose after an AA. This was the best RAW match we’ve seen in a while.
With Cole injured, and the announcer’s table turned over, Byron Saxton and Jerry the King Lawler took over the announcing. The Bellas and Natalya wrestled Paige, AJ Lee and Naomi. Saxton botched when he said that Nikki was tapped out to Paige’s Black Widow at Wrestlemania. But the Black Widow is AJ Lee’s submission hold – not Paige’s. Naomi pinned Nikki Bella.
As usual, to eat up broadcast time, RAW re-broadcast the Lesnar scene, in the same broadcast. Instead of rebroadcasting what we’ve already seen, why not reduce RAW to 2 hours, like SMACKDOWN?
Goldust wrestled Rusev, as the crowd chanted, “We want Lana.” FYI – Our Russian consultant has confirmed that Rusev processed in a real Russian tank at Wrestlemania. So, they had a fake Russian in a real Russian tank.
In the Main Event, Seth Rollins, Kane and Big Show wrestled Randy Orton, Ryback, and Roman Reigns. Kane proved in the ring, once again, that he is no longer Able. The lumbering oaf should consider a late retirement. In a wild finish, featuring spears, an RKO out of nowhere, and a curb stomp, Roman Reigns pinned Kane.
Our FEED ME MORE award goes to the audience at San Jose – the most active and fun audience we’ve seen in a long time.
Our FEED ME MORON award goes to Dolph Ziggler for the orange spray tan. This isn’t South Beach, Dolph.