THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – March 12, 2015 (Detroit, Michigan)

Smackdown started with Daniel Bryan acknowledging how he didn’t make it to the main event at Wrestlemania. Bryan said he wrestled some of the best WWE superstars – Mr. Perfect, Bret Hart, Randy Savage, and Ricky Steamboat, all who were Intercontinental Champions. He said the only WWE championship that he hadn’t won is the Intercontinental Championship. (He hasn’t won the Diva’s Championship either, even though he’s in the right weight class).  He entered himself into the ladder match for the Intercontinental Championship at Wrestlemania.

Bad News Barret then came out claimed that he must be Daniel Bryan’s hero.  Dolph Ziggler then entered and said that Barrett is Ziggler’s hero (maybe because Ziggler never met someone so desperate to be relevant).  Ziggler pointed out that even though Barrett is champion, he can’t protect his own belt. Harper and Ambrose came out.  Harper stated that he wanted his “Wrestlemania moment.”  Michael Cole said Harper is a man of few words.  Stardust then came out, unprepared because he didn’t have a microphone, asking for the Intercontinental Belt.  R-truth then walked out and said he’s going to leave with the Belt, for safekeeping. A brawl then broke out with Ziggler and Ambrose.

In an 8 man Tag Team match, The New Day’s Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods and the Usos wrestled Los Matadores and Tyson Kidd and Cesaro. Byron Saxton said Tyson Kidd is probably listening to his (Tyson Kidd’s) own voice soothing him and coaching him before the match. We’re not sure how he knew that.  Fernando pinned Xavier Woods – after switching with Diego while the ref wasn’t looking.

Ryback wrestled The Miz.  Jerry Lawler sounded just as surprised as you probably are when this match was announced. In a promo, The Miz told Mizdow to go away, claiming that he can beat Ryback on his own.  Mizdow was shown smiling at the screen as Miz was Shell-Shocked by Ryback, who The Miz.

In a segment, Roman Reigns addressed Paul Heyman. Roman Reigns said another tired speech about how he hates the word “can’t”. Mark Henry then came out and ridiculed Roman Reigns, stating that Reigns can’t beat Brock Lesnar.  Henry said that no one respects Roman Reigns. Roman Reigns then hit Henry with a Superman Punch, followed by a spear, through the barricades. Sheamus then had his 50th promo about his return, which still hasn’t happened.

AJ Lee and Paige wrestled Cameron and Summer Rae. During the match, Brie Bella mentioned how she liked the smell of Byron Saxton. Huh?  Summer Rae submitted to Paige after a PTO. Paige walked off with Nikki Bella’s vest.

In an interview, Mark Henry said that he was just “trying to see what Roman Reigns had”.

In the Main Event, Dean Ambrose, Dolph Ziggler, and Daniel Bryan wrestled Bad News Barret, Stardust, and Luke Harper in a 6-man tag team match. Daniel Bryan pinned Luker Harper with a running knee.  After the match, Ziggler got angry with Bryan for “stealing the match.”  We couldn’t figure out what there was to be angry about since their team won. Dean Ambrose accuses Ziggler of having inferiority complex. Ambrose then called Bryan “a turd” – an insult to any elementary schooler.  Ziggler doubled down and also called Bryan a turd. Such fighting words!  You’d think that Wrestlemania was around the corner.

Our FEED ME MORE Award goes to Mark Henry for his return (though not a very successful one).

Our FEED ME MORON Award goes to Dean Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler for using the word “turd” on broadcast television in 2015.