Cesaro – RassleBox.com

ROYAL RUMBLE – 2017

THE ROYAL RUMBLE – 2017

Below is the card, and our picks, for the 2017 Royal Rumble

KICKOFF SHOW

SHEAMUS and CESARO v. The BULLET CLUB (GALLOWS and ANDERSON)

We are picking Sheamus and Cesaro, who are, pound for pound, the most boring Tag Team in WWE.

MAIN CARD

NIA JAX v. SASHA BANKS

We’re going with Sasha Banks – not for any particular reason. We really don’t care who wins.

BLISS/JAMES/NATALYA v. LYNCH/BELLA/NAOMI

We’re picking the heels – Bliss, James, and Natalya. And would Natalya still be wrestling if she weren’t a Hart?

RICH SWAN v. NEVILLE

Neville. They should reinvigorate the high-flying acrobat.

CHARLOTTE v. BAYLEY

The crowd loves Bayley, but you can never go wrong betting on Charlotte. She’s a Flair.

KEVIN OWENS v. ROMAN REIGNS

Roman Reigns is supposed to be a Face, but gets booed; that says enough. Reigns lacks talent, ability, technique, and can barely talk. Maybe, he can join BIG SHOW in retirement.

STYLES v. CENA

Let’s Go Cena. He’s overdue for a PPV victory. This should be the best match of the night.

THE MAIN EVENT – THE ROYAL RUMBLE

Some possible “unannounced” entrants – SHINSUKE NAKAMURA, FINN BAYLOR, SAMOA JOE, SHANE McMAHON, ZACH RYDER.

Our pick to win – RKO (outta nowhere).

THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – April 9, 2015 (Dallas, TX)

The show began with Daniel Bryan, saying that his Intercontinental Championship would mean even more if he were to defend it. Bad News Barrett and Sheamus then threatened Bryan. The crowd chanted, “You look stupid” towards Sheamus. Dolph Ziggler then emerged to save the day. But Big Show then came out and said that his victory in the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal meant that he had “eclipsed” Andre the Giant in history, and proves that he had surpassed anything that Andre the Giant had ever been. This set up for a six man Tag Team match at the Main Event.

Continue reading THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – April 9, 2015 (Dallas, TX)

RAW BRAWDCAST – MARCH 30, 2015 (San Jose, CA)

The Fallout Show, after Wrestlemania, opened with (Good Evening Ladies and Gentleman, my name is) Paul Heyman advocating for the FORMER reigning, defending, undisputed WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Brock Lensar. He said that Lesnar almost respects Roman Reigns, but that Seth Rollins, the CURRENT reigning, defending . . . is “slimy.” Heyman threatened litigation, but stated that his client was against it because “all lawyers are scumbags.” A rematch of Rollins and Lesnar was set to be the Main Event. Continue reading RAW BRAWDCAST – MARCH 30, 2015 (San Jose, CA)

RAW BRAWDCAST – March 23, 2015 (Los Angeles, CA)

Sting opened the show. Stephanie McMahon stepped in the ring to taunt him, telling him that dogs are stupid and he is “nothing but a face painted freak.” Sting caught Stephanie McMahon’s hand as she was trying to slap him. Triple H approached with his trademark sledgehammer as Sting swung his trademark bat in the ring. The confrontation never happened, but suspense was built in anticipation of their match at Wrestlemania. Apparently, this is the Seniors’ Section because the combined ages of these two wrestlers is over 100. Will it be sponsored by Geritol? Continue reading RAW BRAWDCAST – March 23, 2015 (Los Angeles, CA)

THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – March 19, 2015 (Kansas City, MO)

The show began with Roman Reigns talking to the crowd. Thankfully, it was short because Mark Henry (with two first names) entered the ring. Henry said he’s putting all his money on Reigns to beat Brock Lesnar. Out came Kane and Seth Rollins, with briefcase in hand, and J&J Security at his side. Rollins claimed that J&J Security had secured the ring so that Randy Orton won’t show up. Continue reading THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – March 19, 2015 (Kansas City, MO)

RAW BRAWDCAST – March 16, 2015 (Des Moines, Iowa)

The first segment had a canned interview with Randy Orton, proudly saying how he set up Seth Rollins last week. Then, Rollins (flanked by J&J Security), Big Show, and Kane were in the ring listening to Rollins complain about Orton’s betrayal. He accused The Viper of being sociopathic. In a moment of transparent insincerity combined with poor acting, Big Show apologized to Rollins. This was followed by apologies from Kane and Jamie Noble. Joey Mercury was too sad – sniff, sniff – to apologize. Continue reading RAW BRAWDCAST – March 16, 2015 (Des Moines, Iowa)

RAW BRAWCAST – MARCH 9, 2015 (Pittsburgh, PA)

It began in Pittsburgh with The Authority supplicating to Randy Orton for reuniting with The Authority. Orton paid them back by insulting each one of them, and then defusing the situation by stating he was kidding. Continue reading RAW BRAWCAST – MARCH 9, 2015 (Pittsburgh, PA)

THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – March 5, 2015 (Washington, D.C.)

Smackdown started with Dolph Ziggler walking out with the new white and gold (or is it black and blue?) Intercontinental Belt. Overactor Ziggler said that winning the Intercontinental Belt “changed his life.” Jerry the King Lawler called Bad News Barret another Kanye West. Luke Harper then attacked Ziggler and stopped BNB from taking back his title. A brawl ensued between Ziggler, Barrett, Harper, and Dean Ambrose. R-Truth took advantage of the distraction, slithered in the ring, and stole the Belt while no one was looking – no one but the cameras, audience, and announcers, that is. Continue reading THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – March 5, 2015 (Washington, D.C.)

RAW BRAWDCAST – MARCH 2, 2015 (East Rutherford, NJ)

The show began with Rollins taunting Jon Stewart. Roman Reigns entered, and then he and Rollins taunted each other. Reigns punched Rollins and then Superman punched and speared J&J Security.

Randy Orton encouraged Rollins to ask The Authority for a match with Reigns.

Continue reading RAW BRAWDCAST – MARCH 2, 2015 (East Rutherford, NJ)

THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – February 26, 2015 (Atlanta, GA)

The show began with Daniel Bryan and his Yes! chant. His first words were, “No. No. No.” Eventually, the crowd chanted, “No, No, No.” Bad News Barrett entered the ring, lamenting the fact that Dean Ambrose stole his Intercontinental Belt. Dean Ambrose entered with the belt and attacked BNB. Ambrose kept the stolen Belt. Continue reading THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – February 26, 2015 (Atlanta, GA)