Luke Harper – RassleBox.com

ELIMINATION CHAMBER 2017

The Road to Wrestlemania continues with a pretty lame lineup for Elimination Chamber 2017.

DOLPH ZIGGLER v. APOLLO CREWS and KALISTO (Handicapped Match)

The premise of this match is ridiculous. We look forward to the ascension of Apollo Crews, but we think the writers want Ziggler to win. We pick Ziggler.

NIKKI BELLA v. NATALYA

They are trying to bring back Bella. We pick Bella.

SMACK DOWN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS

We’re going with a dark horse – American Alpha

RANDY ORTON v. LUKE HARPER

RKO just won the ROYAL RUMBLE, as we predicted. They can’t possibly have him now lose to Harper, can they?! We pick RKO.

BECKY LYNCH v. MICKIE JAMES

They are trying to bring back Mickie James, also. We pick Mickie.

ELIMINATION CHAMBER – MAIN EVENT

Let’s go Cena – Cena sucks. We pick Cena.

WRESTLEMANIA XXXI – March 29, 2015 (Santa Clara, CA)

In the Battle Royal, Big Show prevailed. The Giant won Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. But we’ll find out on Monday Night Raw what the future is for The Miz and Mizdow. When The Miz ordered his personal assistant, Mizdow, to leave the ring, Mizdow rebelled and eliminated The Miz. Mizdow was the last man eliminated from the Battle Royal. It would have been a miracle if Mizdow won, but JBL said that, “Miracles don’t work with Giants.” We’re not sure what that means. The Creative Team has some drama – perhaps a feud – planned for The Miz and Mizdow. Continue reading WRESTLEMANIA XXXI – March 29, 2015 (Santa Clara, CA)

RAW BRAWDCAST – March 23, 2015 (Los Angeles, CA)

Sting opened the show. Stephanie McMahon stepped in the ring to taunt him, telling him that dogs are stupid and he is “nothing but a face painted freak.” Sting caught Stephanie McMahon’s hand as she was trying to slap him. Triple H approached with his trademark sledgehammer as Sting swung his trademark bat in the ring. The confrontation never happened, but suspense was built in anticipation of their match at Wrestlemania. Apparently, this is the Seniors’ Section because the combined ages of these two wrestlers is over 100. Will it be sponsored by Geritol? Continue reading RAW BRAWDCAST – March 23, 2015 (Los Angeles, CA)

THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – March 19, 2015 (Kansas City, MO)

The show began with Roman Reigns talking to the crowd. Thankfully, it was short because Mark Henry (with two first names) entered the ring. Henry said he’s putting all his money on Reigns to beat Brock Lesnar. Out came Kane and Seth Rollins, with briefcase in hand, and J&J Security at his side. Rollins claimed that J&J Security had secured the ring so that Randy Orton won’t show up. Continue reading THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – March 19, 2015 (Kansas City, MO)

RAW BRAWDCAST – March 16, 2015 (Des Moines, Iowa)

The first segment had a canned interview with Randy Orton, proudly saying how he set up Seth Rollins last week. Then, Rollins (flanked by J&J Security), Big Show, and Kane were in the ring listening to Rollins complain about Orton’s betrayal. He accused The Viper of being sociopathic. In a moment of transparent insincerity combined with poor acting, Big Show apologized to Rollins. This was followed by apologies from Kane and Jamie Noble. Joey Mercury was too sad – sniff, sniff – to apologize. Continue reading RAW BRAWDCAST – March 16, 2015 (Des Moines, Iowa)

RAW BRAWCAST – MARCH 9, 2015 (Pittsburgh, PA)

It began in Pittsburgh with The Authority supplicating to Randy Orton for reuniting with The Authority. Orton paid them back by insulting each one of them, and then defusing the situation by stating he was kidding. Continue reading RAW BRAWCAST – MARCH 9, 2015 (Pittsburgh, PA)

THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – March 5, 2015 (Washington, D.C.)

Smackdown started with Dolph Ziggler walking out with the new white and gold (or is it black and blue?) Intercontinental Belt. Overactor Ziggler said that winning the Intercontinental Belt “changed his life.” Jerry the King Lawler called Bad News Barret another Kanye West. Luke Harper then attacked Ziggler and stopped BNB from taking back his title. A brawl ensued between Ziggler, Barrett, Harper, and Dean Ambrose. R-Truth took advantage of the distraction, slithered in the ring, and stole the Belt while no one was looking – no one but the cameras, audience, and announcers, that is. Continue reading THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – March 5, 2015 (Washington, D.C.)

RAW BRAWDCAST – MARCH 2, 2015 (East Rutherford, NJ)

The show began with Rollins taunting Jon Stewart. Roman Reigns entered, and then he and Rollins taunted each other. Reigns punched Rollins and then Superman punched and speared J&J Security.

Randy Orton encouraged Rollins to ask The Authority for a match with Reigns.

Continue reading RAW BRAWDCAST – MARCH 2, 2015 (East Rutherford, NJ)

THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – February 12, 2015 (Dayton, Ohio)

In the initial segment, Kane announced Tag Team Turmoil with Daniel Bryan and Roman Reigns as the initial Tag Team. As he said that the Tag Teams would have to take the bull by the horns, El Torito (a midget in a bull costume) ran in and The Matadors grabbed him by his horns.

Continue reading THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – February 12, 2015 (Dayton, Ohio)