The Road to Wrestlemania continues with a pretty lame lineup for Elimination Chamber 2017.
DOLPH ZIGGLER v. APOLLO CREWS and KALISTO (Handicapped Match)
The premise of this match is ridiculous. We look forward to the ascension of Apollo Crews, but we think the writers want Ziggler to win. We pick Ziggler.
NIKKI BELLA v. NATALYA
They are trying to bring back Bella. We pick Bella.
SMACK DOWN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS
We’re going with a dark horse – American Alpha
RANDY ORTON v. LUKE HARPER
RKO just won the ROYAL RUMBLE, as we predicted. They can’t possibly have him now lose to Harper, can they?! We pick RKO.
BECKY LYNCH v. MICKIE JAMES
They are trying to bring back Mickie James, also. We pick Mickie.
ELIMINATION CHAMBER – MAIN EVENT
Let’s go Cena – Cena sucks. We pick Cena.
The show began with Daniel Bryan, saying that his Intercontinental Championship would mean even more if he were to defend it. Bad News Barrett and Sheamus then threatened Bryan. The crowd chanted, “You look stupid” towards Sheamus. Dolph Ziggler then emerged to save the day. But Big Show then came out and said that his victory in the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal meant that he had “eclipsed” Andre the Giant in history, and proves that he had surpassed anything that Andre the Giant had ever been. This set up for a six man Tag Team match at the Main Event.
Continue reading THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – April 9, 2015 (Dallas, TX)
The show began with repeat footage from Monday’s Fallout show – footage which was repeated several times on Monday Night RAW after it happened. Michael Cole and JBL allegedly had surgery from Lesna’r’s violent rage. But they’ll be back Monday. Which one will have a (fake) neck brace? Mike Phillips filled in for Michael Cole. Continue reading THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – April 2, 2015 (Fresno, CA)
The Fallout Show, after Wrestlemania, opened with (Good Evening Ladies and Gentleman, my name is) Paul Heyman advocating for the FORMER reigning, defending, undisputed WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Brock Lensar. He said that Lesnar almost respects Roman Reigns, but that Seth Rollins, the CURRENT reigning, defending . . . is “slimy.” Heyman threatened litigation, but stated that his client was against it because “all lawyers are scumbags.” A rematch of Rollins and Lesnar was set to be the Main Event. Continue reading RAW BRAWDCAST – MARCH 30, 2015 (San Jose, CA)
The show began with Roman Reigns talking to the crowd. Thankfully, it was short because Mark Henry (with two first names) entered the ring. Henry said he’s putting all his money on Reigns to beat Brock Lesnar. Out came Kane and Seth Rollins, with briefcase in hand, and J&J Security at his side. Rollins claimed that J&J Security had secured the ring so that Randy Orton won’t show up. Continue reading THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – March 19, 2015 (Kansas City, MO)
It began in Pittsburgh with The Authority supplicating to Randy Orton for reuniting with The Authority. Orton paid them back by insulting each one of them, and then defusing the situation by stating he was kidding. Continue reading RAW BRAWCAST – MARCH 9, 2015 (Pittsburgh, PA)
Smackdown started with Dolph Ziggler walking out with the new white and gold (or is it black and blue?) Intercontinental Belt. Overactor Ziggler said that winning the Intercontinental Belt “changed his life.” Jerry the King Lawler called Bad News Barret another Kanye West. Luke Harper then attacked Ziggler and stopped BNB from taking back his title. A brawl ensued between Ziggler, Barrett, Harper, and Dean Ambrose. R-Truth took advantage of the distraction, slithered in the ring, and stole the Belt while no one was looking – no one but the cameras, audience, and announcers, that is. Continue reading THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – March 5, 2015 (Washington, D.C.)
The show began with Rollins taunting Jon Stewart. Roman Reigns entered, and then he and Rollins taunted each other. Reigns punched Rollins and then Superman punched and speared J&J Security.
Randy Orton encouraged Rollins to ask The Authority for a match with Reigns.
Continue reading RAW BRAWDCAST – MARCH 2, 2015 (East Rutherford, NJ)
The show began with Daniel Bryan and his Yes! chant. His first words were, “No. No. No.” Eventually, the crowd chanted, “No, No, No.” Bad News Barrett entered the ring, lamenting the fact that Dean Ambrose stole his Intercontinental Belt. Dean Ambrose entered with the belt and attacked BNB. Ambrose kept the stolen Belt. Continue reading THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – February 26, 2015 (Atlanta, GA)
The night began with a six man Tag Team match – Ziggler, Rowan, and Ryback wrestling Rollins, Kane, and Big Show – The Babyfaces vs. The Heels.
Announcer Michael Cole discussed the fact that these three Faces were previously terminated by The Authority, and stated that if you’re abused by the boss, you can go to Human Resources, but in the WWE, disputes are settled in the ring. Cole is absolutely right, except for the fact that the disputes and the matches are all fake in the WWE. Continue reading LIFE IN THE WWE FASTLANE – February 22, 2015 (Memphis, TN)