WWE FASTLANE 2017
Sasha Banks v. Nia Jax – Sasha Banks.
Universal Championship. Owens v. Goldberg – Owens retains the Universal Championship, but championship, but Goldberg wins the match (by DQ or some other way).
Roman Reigns v. Braun Strowman – We’re pulling for Braun Strowman. But we fear that Roman Reigns will prevail due to the McMahon child’s disordered attraction to Roman Reigns. Roman Reigns.
Bayley v. Charlotte Flair (CF) – No one ever lost money betting on Charlotte Flair in a Championship match.
Samoa Joe v. Sami Zayn – They just brought up Samoa Joe. They will give him the victory to promote him
Neville v. Jack Gallagher – Neville, flyin’ high.
Gallows & Anderson v. Amore & Kass – Amore & Kass. Because you “can’t teach that.”
Swann and Tozawa v. Kendrick and Dar – Who are these people?
THE ROYAL RUMBLE – 2017
Below is the card, and our picks, for the 2017 Royal Rumble
SHEAMUS and CESARO v. The BULLET CLUB (GALLOWS and ANDERSON)
We are picking Sheamus and Cesaro, who are, pound for pound, the most boring Tag Team in WWE.
NIA JAX v. SASHA BANKS
We’re going with Sasha Banks – not for any particular reason. We really don’t care who wins.
BLISS/JAMES/NATALYA v. LYNCH/BELLA/NAOMI
We’re picking the heels – Bliss, James, and Natalya. And would Natalya still be wrestling if she weren’t a Hart?
RICH SWAN v. NEVILLE
Neville. They should reinvigorate the high-flying acrobat.
CHARLOTTE v. BAYLEY
The crowd loves Bayley, but you can never go wrong betting on Charlotte. She’s a Flair.
KEVIN OWENS v. ROMAN REIGNS
Roman Reigns is supposed to be a Face, but gets booed; that says enough. Reigns lacks talent, ability, technique, and can barely talk. Maybe, he can join BIG SHOW in retirement.
STYLES v. CENA
Let’s Go Cena. He’s overdue for a PPV victory. This should be the best match of the night.
THE MAIN EVENT – THE ROYAL RUMBLE
Some possible “unannounced” entrants – SHINSUKE NAKAMURA, FINN BAYLOR, SAMOA JOE, SHANE McMAHON, ZACH RYDER.
Our pick to win – RKO (outta nowhere).
The show began with Daniel Bryan, saying that his Intercontinental Championship would mean even more if he were to defend it. Bad News Barrett and Sheamus then threatened Bryan. The crowd chanted, “You look stupid” towards Sheamus. Dolph Ziggler then emerged to save the day. But Big Show then came out and said that his victory in the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal meant that he had “eclipsed” Andre the Giant in history, and proves that he had surpassed anything that Andre the Giant had ever been. This set up for a six man Tag Team match at the Main Event.