THE SMACK ON SMACKDOWN – April 2, 2015 (Fresno, CA)

The show began with repeat footage from Monday’s Fallout show – footage which was repeated several times on Monday Night RAW after it happened.  Michael Cole and JBL allegedly had surgery from Lesna’r’s violent rage.  But they’ll be back Monday.  Which one will have a (fake) neck brace?  Mike Phillips filled in for Michael Cole.  

The first segment featured The Heels, with Seth Rollins bragging about his Championship and Lesnar’s indefinite suspension.  Randy Orton emerged  to taunt Rollins and The Heels, referring to Kane as “Little Red Riding Hood.”  (LIttle Red Riding Hood probably won more matches than Kane, anyway).

This earned Orton a match against Big Show  Orton was manhandling Big Show,until The Heels interrupted the match (giving Orton the win).  After Kane chokeslammed RKO, Ryback emerged and RKO and Ryback devastated J&J Security and Kane.

Naomi pinned Natalya as The Bellas provided commentary.  Brie Bella said that Naomi might know twins because she’s married to a twin (one of The Usos) but Naomi doesn’t know “these twins,” referring to The Bellas.  Pretty inane commentary.

In a cheesy segment, Kane announced that Rollins would face Orton for the Championship at the Extreme Rules – the next pay-per-view event.  Kane was upset that Dean Ambrose used Kane’s Executive Bathroom, so he scheduled a match between Ambrose and Luke Harper.

Byron Saxton interviewed Roman Reigns.  Reigns said, of his Championship Match against Lesnar, that he “liked Suplex City, and he’s thinking of buying a condo there.”  As usual, Reigns barely answered the question and delivered canned, scripted answers in an unconvincing fashion.  We salute Byron Saxton for keeping a straight face and hope that Heyman advocates for Reigns soon.

The Miz beat R-Truth with a skull crushing finale.  Then, Damien Mizdow gave a skull crushing finale to The Miz.

Cena went on a jingoistic raid declaring that America doesn’t suck. Rusev then came out and declared himself a Russian tank. Rusev will face Cena for the Russian . . . we mean . . . American Championship at Extreme Rules, which the The WWE is hyping.

Luke Harper showed up in the same plaid vest he wore at Wrestlemania.  Byron Saxton said that, “Ambrose’s mind is a cocoon of chaos.”  One of the worst lines we’ve heard in a while.  As usual, the Announcer’s table got destroyed, when Harper power bombed Ambrose into it, resulting in fake medics arriving on the scene.

Prime Time Players had a lame segment followed by the appearance of Sheamus to wrestle Daniel Bryan, with Bad News Barrett providing commentary.  Is Sheamus becoming a Heel?

Jerry the King Lawler gave good advice: “Don’t ever get into a head butting contest with a goat; you’ll never win.”  Sheamus won after BNB knocked out Daniel Bryan with a Bull Hammer elbow.

Our FEED ME MORE Award goes to Byron Saxton for his ability to keep a straight face during his Roman Reigns interview.

Our FEED ME MORON Award goes to Randy Orton for referring to Kane as “Little Red Riding Hood.”  Pretty bad line.