In the initial segment, Kane announced Tag Team Turmoil with Daniel Bryan and Roman Reigns as the initial Tag Team. As he said that the Tag Teams would have to take the bull by the horns, El Torito (a midget in a bull costume) ran in and The Matadors grabbed him by his horns.
Bray Wyatt crushed C-wrestler R-truth, finishing with a Sister Abigail. JBL said he’d rather be a centipede with ingrown toenails than wrestle Bray Wyatt. Who wrote that line?
Paige, the Unholy Ghost, pinned Summer Rae while the Bella Sisters were at the announcers’ table flapping their gums nonstop during the match.
During the match between Adam Rose and Fandango, Byron Saxton said that he was a Rosebud before becoming an announcer. Fandango pinned Adam Rose.
Daniel Bryan and Roman Reigns started the Tag Team Turmoil against The Miz and Mizdow. Mizdow remains demoted from Stunt Double to Personal Assistant. Bryan pinned The Miz.
Roman Reigns apparently felt sympathy towards his cousins – The Usos – as Daniel Bryan was beating up on them. Reigns ended Bryan’s extended Yes Lock after one of the Usos tapped out. Jerry The King Lawler said, “There are two sides to every story, and I can see both sides, here.” Well spoken, Jerry.
Bryan compelled one of Los Matadores to tap out.
Reigns pinned Slater to slay Slater and the Gator.
The Ascension was disqualified after beating the heck out of Reigns and Bryan. Byron Saxton stated, “You got to wonder if this is by design.” It is by design – from the script you are reading from, Byron. Later, Byron clotheslined English grammar by referring to Brock Lesnar as “someone who could destruct you.”
In the last match, the lumbering heels, Big Show and Kane, got into an internal dispute, which ended up w/Big Show decking Kane. Reigns speared Big Show, and then Bryan pinned him. Byron commented, “I’m not sure if this is a miracle, but it was miraculous.” Huh?
A buildup of Bryan and Reigns before WWE Fast Lane.
By the way, where are Luke Harper and Mark Henry?
Our FEED ME MORE award goes to Bryan and Reigns for winning the tag team turmoil.
Our FEED ME MORON award goes to Byron Saxton for his incoherence. Send him to NXT. Tell him to take the Ascension with him.