The show started with Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz. The Miz claims to have “made” Daniel Bryan. Before the match, The Miz, acting like King Tut, told Mizdow, now his personal assistant, to retrieve an Egyptian cotton towel for him. The Miz submitted to Bryan (he threw in the towel) after a Yes! lock.
Ryback wrestled Kane. Byron Saxton called Ryback a pimple to The Authority – a pimple they are attempting to punish. Michael Cole stated Ryback has a chip on his shoulder, and then Jerry “The King” Lawler chimed in by saying it’s more like a log. Ryback then logged another victory after he shell shocked Kane before pinning him.
R-Truth wrestled Bad News Barret. Ambrose was commentating at the announcer’s table. Ambrose criticized Byron Saxton’s suit. While BNB was jawboning to Ambrose, R-Truth snuck up on BNB and pinned the Brit. When is the last time that R-Truth won one? We’ll see BNB and Dean Ambrose battle for the Intercontinental Belt at WWE Fast Lane.
In the “Videotape” section, they showed a segment of the Cena vs. Rusev rivalry, to build up their upcoming match at WWE Fast Lane, and the usual smoky, spiritual, pre-taped segment from Bray Wyatt, which was completely unnecessary since Wyatt didn’t wrestle.
The Ascension wrestled the New Day – a match made for NXT. The Ascension pinned Big E with The Fall of Man.
Harper wrestled Roman Reigns, and Reigns pinned him after a spear.
The match between Big Show and Rowan started after a pre-emptive attack by Big Show. Lawler lamented that it is a sad day because they can’t count on matches having fair rules. You want fair rules? Just write them into the script. But that’s not as much fun. Big Show then pinned Rowan after a chokeslam.
Paige wrested Cameron. The Bellas were commentating. After a bunch of terrible attempts at humor from the Bellas – about Paige being too light – Cameron submitted to Paige.
In a segment, Goldust was interviewed by Renee. Goldust said he’s going to have to do the hardest thing he’s ever done in his life. After seeing that segment, that must be acting.
Jimmy Uso wrestled Tyson Kidd. Rusev ran in to attack the Usos and ended the match. Rusev attempted to intimidate the crowd with his fake Russian, but the crowd was likely distracted by his flapping rolls of fat.
Ziggler, the Showboat then wrestled “Mr. Money in the Bank,” Seth Rollins. J & J Security was barred from ringside. Big Show, Kane, Ryback, and Rowan were at ringside, though. Michael Cole joked that it was good that the hobbits were replaced by giant. Byron Saxton got angry with all the name calling. (We don’t want name calling and violence on WWE, right?) Cole says Saxton was probably bullied as a kid. We think Saxton should have been bullied – by his English teachers. Anyway, Rollins curbstomped and pinned Ziggler.
Rowan and Ryback were attacked by Kane, Big Show, Rollins, and J&J Security (the hobbits). The show ended with Rowan being double chokeslammed and then curbstomped. Ryback was KO-punched by Big Show and then curbstomped.
Our FEED ME MORE award goes to Ryback. Why not? He won and it’s his chant.
Our FEED ME MORON award goes to Goldust. He needs some acting lessons.
Next stop – WWE Fast Lane.