The show began with Roman Reigns talking to the crowd. Thankfully, it was short because Mark Henry (with two first names) entered the ring. Henry said he’s putting all his money on Reigns to beat Brock Lesnar. Out came Kane and Seth Rollins, with briefcase in hand, and J&J Security at his side. Rollins claimed that J&J Security had secured the ring so that Randy Orton won’t show up.
Did anyone see Jerry the King Lawler’s green T-shirt? Is the wardrobe consultant on vacation?
Nikki Bella wrestled Paige, while Brie Bella and AJ Lee were commenting. Paige pinned Nikki Bella.
While Bad News Barrett watched with his Intercontinental Belt in hand, a Gauntlet Match took place between the Intercontinental hopefuls. Dean Ambrose pinned Stardust, who kept wrestling after he was pinned. R-Truth entered the ring and beat up Stardust (bad choice, since Stardust was not the legal man), but then Ambrose quickly pinned R-Truth. Luke Harper entered, after a brief promo which demonstrated why Harper should never touch a microphone. Harper pinned Ambrose, but then submitted to Daniel Bryan.
Byron Saxton couldn’t identify “Ziggy Stardust,” an alter ego of David Bowie. Not sure how or why that came up. Then Saxton said that “Daniel Bryan walks hand in hand with resiliency on a daily basis.” How does Michael Cole sit through this?
After a bunch of 2 counts, Dolph Ziggler pinned Bryan to win the Gauntlet Match. Instead of leaving the Intercontinental Belt at home, BNB brought it into the ring, where he was attacked by Ziggler and Bryan. But BNB left the ring with his belt, this time.
Tyson Kidd and Cesaro, pound for pound the most boring Tag Team in WWE, along with Natalya, wrestled Los Matadores, with El Torito. Since the midget in Los Matadores wears a bull costume, WWE billed it as an “Interspecies match.” Natalya pinned El Torito.
We’re in the third month of “Sheamus Returns” promos, but Sheamus hasn’t returned.
In the Main Event, Mark Henry suffered a mysterious backstage injury, leaving Roman Reigns to battle Kane and Rollins on his own. Reigns won by pinning Rollins. Then Randy Orton snuck by security and demolished Rollins and J&J Security. It ended with Orton and Rollins engaging in awkward stares until time ran out.
Our FEED ME MORE Award goes to Natalya for pinning El Torito in the first Interspecies match. (But why weren’t the matches with the Bunny an interspecies match? And what about every match with Brock Lensar – since he is the Beast Incarnate?)
Our FEED ME MORON Award goes to Sheamus for the shameless “Sheamus Returns” advertisement that run continuously, without his return.